How a co-dependent girl with abandonment issues became a Divine Feminine Woman and a trauma-informed relationship coach…

It’s 2014. I am in a 4-year relationship with a self-harming alcoholic. I have no friends, no social life, and no connection to myself. I am co-dependent and completely focused on my partner. There is emotional and physical abuse. I feel stressed all the time. And then, I get sick:

I develop Vitiligo, an auto-immune disorder where the skin stops producing melanin. The results are white patches all over my body.

This auto-immune disorder attacks my thyroid, causing hypothyroidism. My body is screaming at me but I don’t listen…

In a final attempt to get me to pay attention, my body contracts a viral infection which causes me to lose my voice. Metaphor much?!

I finally realized what the relationship had done to me:
it had taken every part of me until there was nothing left.

I ended the relationship and vowed never to lose myself again.

Growing up in a home where I thought of myself as the caretaker of others,

I didn’t learn about healthy communication, setting boundaries or knowing my worth as a woman.

Instead I learned to keep my feelings inside, put others needs before my own, and that the lines between where I end and another person begins are blurred.

These were the skills I brought to my relationships. Not a recipe for success!

After ending the relationship I started doing everything I could to avoid future relationship disasters:

• I went to therapy to talk about what happened
  

• I read books to understand my co-dependency
  

• I watched youtube videos to pump myself up
  

• I connected with friends to experience platonic love
  

• I took a road trip across Canada to find out I was pretty good company
  
  
  

But even though I did these things
my love life still left a lot to be desired…

more to come, stay tuned…